“Your Data Will Never Be Compromised!” ORLY???

By raincoaster on May 6, 2015 • ( 0 )

Japanese Norton AntiVirus Commercial, that’s the virus on the left if you couldn’t tell. Via FaithIsTorment on Pinterest

Norton Anti-Virus must be WAY more effective in Japan for some reason.

The transcript:

Subs by evasivemaneuver, (Twitter: @wine_pimp)
People have always been praying for safety
People have always struggled to safeguard their privacy
Today the Gods have answered thy prayers
The Gods will give blessings to thee
Shinto Monk: “Norton USB Memory…
Shinto Monk: “…will thus be blessed to vindicate all viruses”
“Guarding data seamlessly forever”
Behold! the Blessed Data Backup USB Guardian Amulet is born!
Should your most valuable data be under any threat
Norton Security Technology …
… plus the Divine Power of 8 million Japanese Deity
Those two Forces now gives you double protection!
Moreover, There are six different versions to choose from!
Guarding your cute Anime pic collection! Nyan!
Cute Graphics Guardian amulet
Several Gigs of private vids
Private Videos Encryption amulet!
Those seducing memories of extramarital affairs
Private Email Encryption amulet!
All those dirty adult secrets…
Guarded by Private Files Encryption amulet!
I’m a Youtube diva (utau-hime)
Anime song secured!
Insider Trading and illegal bidding that’ll get you in trouble
Those files are now TOP SECRET!
No matter what data you have
Your data will never be compromised
Norton Prestige Guardian amulet (Omamori)
In stores on 04/28/2012!!!

Huh. And here we thought McAfee was the king of whackadoodle YouTube videos.

Just in case you were wondering, the US site has no corresponding product offering the Divine Power of 8 million Japanese (or American Indian, for that matter) deities, and the commercial dates to 2012. Norton, it turns out, has a long history of insanely great commericals in Japan.

O, if only the sprite of hyperbole had not been crushed by the demon of tort law here in the West!