FBI by psistrm on Flickr

Job hunting? Unable to afford the recreational substance of your choice for at least a three week period so your pee is clean? Excellent! Have we got an opportunity for you!

The FBI is hiring special agents. The FBI’s site explains:

Ask Yourself
Am I ready to be a Special Agent? Am I prepared to carry a firearm and potentially use it? Have I followed the law, even when it wasn’t popular to do so? Am I physically capable to manage dangerous or potentially life-threatening situations? Do I consider more than the superficial or apparent solution when it comes to solving problems? Are the decisions I make rational and fact-based, or emotional? Do I take initiative and adapt to constantly changing situations without being told what to do? Am I organized enough to be a part of a squad of Special Agents? Am I a leader that takes responsibility for the people that work for and with me? Does my family support my becoming a federal law enforcement officer?

Know the answer before you apply.

Also, is your pee clean?

If the answers to all the above are YES! then click onward to check out the entire job listing and online application form.

Benefits may include the esteem (or scorn) of your peers, good salary with excellent benefits, and the distinct possibility of being someone’s Plus One to the Vice party next year.

Check the reviews of the FBI on Glassdoor.com: 3.6 out of 5!

Categories: FBI, Humor, Jobs, Sabu